And God Said

And God said...
Jesus, is that really what time it is?
Yes Dad, that's the time.
Christ, I meant....really...is that the time?
Yes Dad.
God re-grouped.
Holy Fuck, is it really 2012 already?
Yup, pretty much Dad.

You mean it's 2012, and we are still waiting for those dolts on Earth to figure out the whole Love and Peace thing?
That's it in a nut shell, Dad.
How long has it been?
I mean how long have we been waiting for them to cross the threshold?

Seems like forever Dad.

Jesus Christ, I had them penciled in for the Thursday afternoon on Week One. What the fuck have they been doing all this time?

Well Dad, mostly killing each other with sharp sticks and stealing each others stuff.

Oh, come on...you are just making that shit up.

I shit you not, Pop. 

Thousands of Earth years go by, while I'm on a break....and that's all they can come up with?

Well....they did develop a bit of a passion for money.

Money?...I thought I sent out a memo about that whole worship of gold thing.

No, Dad....the money that they worship doesn't really exist. It only exists on computer drives and investment statements.

Is it April Fools?...Come on that's it isn't it. You're having the Old Man on,,,aren't you?...Good one, you always had the best sense of humor about things.

No Dad, I'm serious.

Bullshit, you mean to tell me that they are still killing each other and aren't even smart enough to use money that they can actually  touch?

That's pretty much it Dad, but they actually put their worship of invisible money above their love for us.

You are starting to piss me off a bit, Son.

What about all the spirit guides that I sent down?

They killed them all Dad.

What the fuck do you mean...They killed them all???

Hung, burned, thrown in pits, drowned, shot, stabbed, mixed with faked car crashes, plane crashes, suicides and drug over doses. Killed them all as soon as they showed themselves.

Ok...now. Take a second and think about this next question...... Take your time before you answer.

Are you telling Me, that we sent down our very best people....and those little fuckers killed them all?

Yes Dad, that's about it.

Shit, shit shit. and a fuck...for good measure.

OK look....here's what we'll do. Seeing that I got voted most likely to be "Loving and Tolerant" in my grad class...let's send in the a new set of shock troop spirit guides to set thing right.

Can't do it Dad.

Why not?

We asked, and no one will go down there any more. They say it is too dangerous, and that humans are beyond help now.

Jesus Christ, did you offer them all the usual Heavenly Paradise reward stuff ?

They said to keep it all....wasn't worth the trouble.

What about all those  truth-tellers that I sent down? You know, the ones that I let peek behind the curtain and then go down to spread the word. 

They just laughed at them Dad.  The treated them like clowns. Made them go up on stage, so that they could laugh at them.

Even George Carlin?...what about George?...he must have gotten through.

They laughed at him the most Dad.

What about that pudgy little English kid that we were going to send down with the blue print for the whole Love and Peace Project...he had a terrible memory....we were going to send him with a folder full of notes on what to say. Lennon....what happened to little Johnny Lennon?...Did he get that big audience that we arranged? 

It worked for about a minute, Dad. Then they turned on him, started to laugh at him.....finally up and shot him.

Whoa... whoa... whoa... I remember now....after that we sent that Tony Robbins guy....six foot seven...two hundred and seventy five pounds...a mouth as big as Texas....The guy talked truth like Yosemite spits out steam .

I'm not gonna even answer that one, Dad

This whole thing is starting to give me a rash, Son

Ok, here look. A promise is a promise. I'll send a clean-up crew in, and get this thing under control. After that we will re-instate the Peace and Love Program.

Jesus Christ, my Son, send in Obama, Merkel, Harper, Putin and Bresculoni, give them a year to mop up. Get back to me then.

Dad?

What?

You aren't going to like this, Pops.

Christ, what now?

They are already there Dad, and they are up to their asses in alligators.

Jesus, who ordered the alligators?

Figure of speech, Dad.

Oh good, I thought it was that locust thing all over again.Remember that one....got a little carried away that time.

Dad?

Jesus.

There's more...the people that we are sending lately are getting corrupted by the humans.

Bullshit, that's not possible.

It's possible in a small way Dad. They built machines to come looking for us, and they looked for us in the dust of their bombs. They found a bit of coding that we left behind and modified it for their own use. There is talk that we are not needed any more. There was a newspaper article that said you were dead.

Jesus Christ, I take a fucking break for a bit and this whole Genesis thing goes for a shit. Well that's just fucking wonderful....ungrateful, arrogant little turds........What time did you say it was Jesus?

It's 2012, Dad.

I'm gonna have to get back to you on this one, Son.

OK Dad, I'll be by the pool if you need me.