There is a new book out called "Dear Me". I heard about it through Twitter. I am a bona- fide, self-declared news junkie, so Twitter brings all sorts of goodies straight to my phone and laptop. It's like an information IV drip, supplying news and static right into the jugular.
In the book, dozens of well known adults are asked to write letters to their sixteen year old self. They give advice and a interestingly enough, usually don't give specifics on big ticket items. The book is definitely worth a look.
Dear sixteen year old Mike,
You are right at a major tipping point in your life. Your home life is horrible, but you don't know that yet, because you have nothing to compare it to. You have limited options that will guarantee survival and a decent life.
Here's the plan. You have given up your interest in science and art, and traded it for the thrills of motorcycles and cars. Bad move. Go back to what you love and are good at. You can't see how to turn that passion into a career right now, but it will come. Oh...and the sooner you learn how to be a photographer and film maker, the better. You know those stories and plays you wrote a few years ago?...keep going with that.
And yes, you are in the wrong town to do that easily and without ridicule. You will face resistance for your ideas for the rest of your life. You might as well grow some thicker skin now, you'll need it later.
You hang around with thugs instead of artists and musicians to keep from being hassled. Stop that. You are at the wrong drinking fountain.
Wonderful people will drop into your life to offer assistance. Listen to their advice and promptings. They see the potential that you can't see. Trust them. No ...really...try trusting these people.
Do not however trust anyone in your family, except your dad. I still can't explain why that is, but believe me on that one...don't waste your precious time and heart strings there.
Get your ass and attitude back into the school mind set. Put you beautiful and creative brain to good use and knock the ball out of the park in Grade 11 and 12. You might have to leave home to accomplish the attitude shift. Whatever it takes.
You are going to cook up a plan to "kidnap" your dad and move to Mexico with him, to start a new life and get away from that nasty woman.
You know what bud, that's not a bad idea. You heart is in the right place. If you can't save him, then save yourself.
In a year or two, you will discover booze. Here's the deal.
1. Stay off motorcycles and out of cars when you have been drinking. No excuses, no "Yeah but".
2. Stay off the back of motorcycles and out of cars when the driver is loaded. End of story. Walk home.
3. No...you are not smarter, funnier or more creative when you are loaded.
4. All things in moderation....( yeah, I know...but try anyways )
5. Don't tell women that you love them when you are intoxicated, they tend to take that kind of shit seriously.
6. While we are on that topic. Never tell a woman that you love her, just to get in her pants. They tend to take that kind of shit seriously then also. It's like promising to pay a 30% interest rate to a mob loan shark.
7. The booze only masks the pain, it'll be back later with a vengeance. Learn that sooner than later. Now would be a good time.
8. Whatever it takes and against all the odds and conditioning, learn to love yourself. It's a monumental task...everything, I mean everything will be easier when you do that. ( when you do that...send a note on how you did it )
Sex. A few thoughts here.
1. Go for quality and not quantity. Be selective.
2. Condoms. you laugh now...oh... but later you won't.
3. Having an orgasm and saying "I love you" is not required if you don't mean it. Stop that.
4. Agreed... the crazy ones are more fun....but Mike...they are crazy.
5. There are some great women out there, be patient and choosy.
Friends.
Mike, of the friends that you have now, most will fall by the wayside. Some of them will lie to you, steal from you, deceive you and sleep with your girlfriends. You need them like you need a weight belt to help you swim.
In just a few years you will meet your true an lasting friends. You will enjoy the best days of your life with these people. You love them and they love you. Hold them close. Fight and bleed for them.
To conclude.
Travel sooner, travel often.
Do not fight against what your heart is telling you. That's just stupid.
Do not move in with girlfriends
Protect your hearing at work. Oddly enough though, in the future, we pump noise directly onto our ears.
You will be offered excellent tips on career opportunities, from good people. They are looking out for you. These are great ideas. Take them.
There are no flying cars here either.
Nuclear war hasn't happened yet, but "Disco" did.
Buy a house sooner, do it on your own...keep it.
Learn to love the work of John Lennon, Tom Waits, Hunter S Thompson, Ginsberg and Kerouac, Rush, and Kurt Vonnegut sooner.
Three words...Apple, Microsoft, Google....buy em early, buy em often. Don't ask, just do.
You are going to meet some phenomenal assholes. World class psychopathic jerks. They will try to inflict a huge amount of damage on you.
The Bible says something like, "Turn the other cheek". Spiritual books guide us toward forgiveness and to wait for Karma to work it's way through.
However...If you see a good opening, feel free to punch them, right there on the spot.
I'd appreciate that.
If you do nothing else...listen to your heart...it will guide you well. Not listening will cause all of your grief.
Oh and P.S....you are lactose intolerant.
With love, fifty two year old Mike
I wrote several drafts of this letter and sent them to various people to test read. I got some great feedback that resulted in some changes, but the basic theme remained.
I am both a cynic and a dreamer. That means that writing a letter to your 16 yr old self, may or may not be useful, but what's done is done...and that's that. Can't be changed.
On the other side, author Kurt Vonnegut ( and other more religious types...plus a few quantum physics scientists ) proposed that time is an illusion...and that the past, present and future actually exist together. There is no separation. That might be a bit too far out there for this crowd, but there it is.
To get me to change my sixteen year old attitude for the better would have required a major miracle, a cosmic intervention. Maybe a deep immersion training camp with Yoda...I'm not sure what else would have unlocked the vault at that point.
My good friends that came later, and the old ones that stuck by me...made the whole trip worthwhile.
I take full responsibility for my part in some of the life events that went sideways.
Taking dad to Mexico...true story. My teenage brain thought that if I could convince him that the plane was actually going somewhere else...that I could get him on it. Then once he saw that there was another way to get through life ( a tad more pleasant and less abusive ) He would be sold on the idea of bailing out. In later conversations with him, he said that he couldn't have done it. It just wasn't in him.
I didn't mention long term relationships and marriage, because the sixteen year old me wouldn't understand the term " lawyers on speed dial "
Regarding the "phenomenal assholes"...
you know... the first few were a good training and toughening up for life. After that it just got stupid.
Somewhere, there is a hydroponic farm turning out genetically modified humans that are power tripping psychopathic dickheads....The concentration that I have run into can't possibly be a naturally occurring phenomena. I"m just saying that I can't guarantee that I will be socially responsible when one of these turds goes off on me again.
Not trusting the family....you had to be there.
I talked to my kids to remind them that this is directed at the 16 yr old me, and that my shining stars don't exist yet.
I still don't know why " Disco" had to exist.
Al Stewart, Nostradamus...From the album "Past, Present and Future".....Press Arrow to Play
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